Golakka Crawler

Golakka Crawler Card

Golakka Crawler is a 2 Mana Cost Rare Neutral Minion Beast card from the Journey to Un'Goro set!

Card Text

Battlecry: Destroy a Pirate and gain +1/+1.

Flavor Text

Universally adored by both control decks and ninjas.

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22 Comments

  1. Tryke
    March 26, 2017 at 1:32 PM

    When you’ve just dropped 4 places without winning a game due to net decking RNG’ng, face rush, zero skill, pirate warrior bore bags, you’ll craft a deck with two of these snappy crabs, chuck in as many ooze as the game will allow and bring Harrison along as well and set out for revenge! Then you’ll end up playing face mage for 8 games on the bounce, uninstall, divert your free time to your career and within 6 months you’ll be driving an Audi TT at 135mph with a hot blonde in the passenger seat.

    • Moofo
      February 4, 2018 at 7:36 AM

      Did u have to use the uggliest car in ur fantasy? You know u can call whichever car u want right?

  2. DumbEndumber
    March 21, 2017 at 4:14 AM

    It will not see play in Pirate warrior, seriously. Posiibly losing pirate synergy on turn 3 weakens 2 of your 3 3-drops (arguably berserker benefits less from less minions as well, even if its a stickier one). Also, sacrificing Patches is not a tempo swing at all, nor a value play. Both the tempo and the value were generated by Patches himself, and not by this mediocre card. It’s also a horrible draw later on, as it might force you to kill your own minions, making it sit awkwardly in your hand. This would come at a stage where you are hoping for a possible lethal, making this card even worse. So it’s a mediocre turn2 play at best and a horrible play at worst. I bet it won’t see play in Pirate warrior.

    • B-dAWG
      March 23, 2017 at 3:01 PM

      I could see it being played to make the mirror easier.

  3. chris
    March 19, 2017 at 2:19 AM

    seems too specific to me to work. plus Pirate decks have some many good weapons i doubt it matter even if you get it off.

    and who’s to say Pirates will even be viable once the dust settles with the new expansion/rotation?

  4. UnknownError
    March 18, 2017 at 9:38 AM

    <3

  5. lol
    March 18, 2017 at 7:21 AM

    What if this card backfires and pirate decks will use it to eat their own a pirates (N’zoth mate, small time bucaneer or patches). It is basically a totem golem, 2 mana 3/4 on turn 2.

    • CD001
      March 22, 2017 at 6:21 AM

      Yup – I would actually run this in a Rogue pirate deck…

      “Thanks for the card Swashburglar – here’s your reward….”
      “AAaaagghOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!”

  6. Immolate
    March 17, 2017 at 8:07 PM

    I can honestly say that this is extremely situational and that in most cases I would not consider running it. Because it is a Beast, it might be a one of in my Hunter decks if Pirates are still good, but that’s it.

  7. Boom
    March 17, 2017 at 3:28 PM

    I dont get how an inland crab stuck in a crater has a taste for pirates

    • Iovka
      March 17, 2017 at 4:49 PM

      thinking the same thing – i mean how does it survive if it only feeds on pirates and on nothing else

      • Spawnity
        December 4, 2017 at 9:45 PM

        Because pirates are rich in that sodium content from all the people they beat

    • Spirit
      March 18, 2017 at 5:07 AM

      well… pirates look for treasures… maybe the crater is full of good stuff and they want it… so pirates are common(?) and crabs eat em?

  8. TheLawnNinja
    March 17, 2017 at 2:46 PM

    While I’m sure this will either see regular play or force a “Pirates in, Pirates out” meta, it’s kind of disappointing that they had to resort to a “silver bullet” card to address the over-saturation of Pirate decks.

  9. Fanderay
    March 17, 2017 at 2:31 PM

    Anti-pirate: you could have bet on this one.

  10. Commie
    March 17, 2017 at 2:01 PM

    What a unbelievable lazy uninspired card design!
    No Idea how they came up with that. oO

    Jeff: Wait what do we do with these Pirates? they seem still be too good why didn’t we think about anything? UnGoro release is coming up.
    random Employee: Uhh i have it make a hungry crap but with Pirates ?
    Jeff: Great Idea! And so fitting you know with backstory and flavor and everything. So cool a crap that eats pirate wohooo problem solved everyone will love it.

    • Commie
      March 17, 2017 at 2:05 PM

      ups Ben Brode ofc 😉 got confused with Overwatch i guess

  11. Iovka
    March 17, 2017 at 12:50 PM

    When i saw it for the first time, i burst into laugh. A crab that specifically has a taste for pirates lulz. I’m glad to see cards like this.

    I’m kinda curious what his flavour text will be – will it mention a 1 1/1 with chaaaaarge.

  12. Luke
    March 17, 2017 at 12:28 PM

    This card is my savior from pairate scum

  13. Flan
    March 17, 2017 at 11:26 AM

    THE MEMES ARE REAL