New Gadgetzan Gazette: Crime Family Feud Heats Up “Pick a Side or Pick a New Town.”

A new volume of the Gadgetzan Gazette was just posted! It looks like this will be the final edition of The Gadgetzan Gazette, it was a fun run while it lasted!

Crime Family Feud Heats Up

“Pick a Side or Pick a New Town.”

Citizens are calling last week’s brawl in Talan’s Bar the fight of the century. The scuffle allegedly initiated when a notable member of the Grimy Goons crew spilled his Frothy Blackfizz, a popular cider food critics refer to as “not lethal,” on another patron’s candle.

“I saw a Kobold slap one of them goons in the ear with a fish – a life fish!” said one bystander before he was polymorphed into a frog, “I was like, ‘where’d that fish come from?’ Guess that’ll teach him to touch candle. Ribbit?”

Within the attention span of a rabid murloc, patrons recall the establishment filling with henchmen, minions, sheep, and elementals of all stripes.

“They broke through the windows and kicked down the doors” recalled the bar’s proprietor, “and if you’re gonna use my bar as a boxing ring, I expect a cut of the purse.”

The fight comes at a time in which relations between Gadgetzan crime families, The Grimy Goons, Jade Lotus, and Kabal have never been more volatile.

Does Beardo Really Have the Best Deals Anywhere?

Gadgetzan’s King of Bling to Host Wealth Seminar

Join Beardo, one of Azeroth’s most experienced Auctioneers, at Gadgetzan’s Auction House next weekend for a seminar that promises to change the way you buy and sell weapons, armor, trade goods, and more.

“I’ll teach ’em how to stay on their toes so they aren’t conned into bad deals or rackets,” said Beardo. “Well help ’em learn the value of the market and when it’s ‘Time to Pay.'”

A gnome who attended Beardo’s seminar last month had this to say: “I don’t have to roll need anymore. I contribute to my guild bank and still have gold left over to visit Uldum for vacation.”

Beardo has been called a “five-drop to be reckoned with” and a “one-goblin financial advice powerhouse” by the Stormwind Scryer.

Seminar open to all factions: ganking will not be tolerated. Directions: first building on the right from the city’s south entrance, underground.

Gadgetzan Gala Boasts a Bevy of Bourgeois

Ritzy Soiree a Magnet for Magnates

The glitterati gathered at Mayor Noggenfogger’s mansion this week for a gala celebrating the socialites, intellectuals, and business leaders whose brilliant efforts have made Gadgetzan the envy of Azeroth. All the city’s best and brightest were in attendance, including the heads of Gadgetzan’s finest institutions: the First Bank of Gadgetzan, the Gadgetzan Mega Market, the Gadgetzan Emporium, and of course, the Gadgetzan Museum of Ancient Artifacts. It was a raucous event, and raised voices often drowned out the live band!

Mayor Noggenfogger gave a moving toast, “Gadgetzan is truly the jewel of Tanaris, but it wouldn’t be what it is without all of you. Together, we’ve turned a dusty little desert pit stop into the best city anywhere. A place where legitimate business people can make their fortunes! A place where the arcane arts can be researched unfettered! A place where the mysteries of the past can be help up to the bright light of day! So here’s to you, my fellow citizens, here’s to our beautiful city, and here’s to everybody getting filthy rich! Take a complimentary sample of my elixir – and don’t forget to vote!” When questioned afterwards regarding complaints of skyrocketing crime rats, Mayor Noggenfogger was dismissive. “We’re here to celebrate Gadgetzan, kid, not to talk about those clearly spurious allegations. Oh, hey, look: a distraction!”

The inaugural gala ended ahead of schedule after some particularly lively conversation. According to various spokespeople, the industrious attendees were eager to leave behind their social obligations and get back to work on behalf of the city.